We live our entire lives inside our own heads.
From the moment we take our first breath to the moment we breathe our last, we take in the world around us using whatever senses we have at our disposal. We see, hear, feel, touch, taste and perceive the world as it relates to us.
Every piece of information we take in is wrapped in this context. It’s the message & the messenger combined into one inseparable package.
It all feels personal. How could it not? It’s all happening to us, after all.
But here’s the thing:
While we process everything we experience through the lens of what it means for us, that processing is internal.
Put another way – our judgment of something and its fundamental reality are two separate things.
We don’t see the world as it is. We see the world as we are.
The things we do and say have less to do with other people or the wider environment… and more to do with us. Who we are, where we are, how we view things.
The opposite is also true.
The things that other people do and say have less to do with us (or factors outside their control) than with their own internal environment.
This is true even when when those thoughts, actions, or words are directed at us.
Just as no one outside our head can control what happens inside it, we can’t determine how someone else sees the world.
Like us, their perception is shaped by their conditioning, shifting circumstances, the context they operate in, the fundamental beliefs they wield as lenses, the time of day, how much sleep they’ve gotten, whether they’re feeling happy, or sad, or somewhere in between…
Given the countless factors that have shaped that person’s worldview before this moment – right here and now, where we’ve decided to take something personally – how likely is it that this is worth reading into?
Intent doesn’t always matter. Sometimes, you need to take corrective action or respond in some way – regardless of the reasons why something has happened.
But there’s a difference between action and reaction.
Sometimes the only response that’s required is to shrug your shoulds, move on, and stop taking things personally.