If we’re feeling it, pretending it’s not there does us no favours.
The things we resist and ignore remain in our peripheral vision, lurking just at the edge of our awareness, waiting for their turn in the spotlight.
Suppression is the act of deliberately looking past what our attention is called to and bringing it to rest on something else.
But just as attention doesn’t create the thing (only brings it into view), inattention doesn’t dispose of it.
Suppression delays the inevitable – the moment where a feeling, a thought, or a necessary action rises the fore and demands our attention, no longer willing to wait to be called.
Suppression is a disaster waiting to happen. Because when we can’t choose the time and manner of eruption, we roll the dice with the consequences it might cause.
The answer isn’t to exist at the whims of our impulses.
It’s to resist suppression and focus on healthy, congruent forms of expression instead.
Biting our tongue might be wise (particularly when we’re tempted to lash out in response to a perceived hurt). We do well to avoid deliberately hurting other people with ill-chosen words.
But the feelings underpinning that desire don’t go away when they’re not acted on.
Left to their own devices, they slip away for a time. But before we know it, they’ll back once more – demanding the airtime we’ve denied them.
There’s a middle ground between unchecked action and complete repression:
Contained, responsive action.
When we’re driven by the behaviour of response rather than the rush of reaction, we both process the emotions arising from our experience and avoid the self-inflicted drama inherent in unbound self-expression.
Suppression is no better than undiscerning expression. Both are dead ends.
The middle way – response & careful choice – is the path forward.