When we picture someone “in retreat”, it’s easy to imagine them shrinking. Making themselves smaller and running away from the edges of their experience to the comfortable, familiar centre.
When we find ourselves facing demands we don’t know we can overcome, we tend to respond in one of two ways.
- We turn tail and return to what we know… setting aside the challenge for another time (or so we tell ourselves).
- We face it head-on, puff ourselves up and do our best to overcome that obstacle.
Depending on who you ask, either decision can be wise, or foolish, or brave, or cowardly.
Ultimately, it’s all a matter of perspective.
Take the word “retreat” itself. What does it mean?
To re-treat means to treat once again.
To reopen a negotiation which has already taken place.
To recast the terms into something more palatable in the cold light of day.
There can be good reasons to revisit commitments of the past. Not all of them are negative.
New information coming to light, circumstances changing, priorities shifting: these are more than just words.
What looks like flight to one person could be a calculated, wise decision to another. A choice to focus on what matters and to disregard the rest.
So, before you make the decision to move forwards or backwards…
To continue, or to disengage…
To redouble your efforts, or rethink them entirely…
It’s worth reminding yourself: growth happens at the edges. But those edges aren’t always on the outside.
Sometimes, the very things we’re fleeing from are those that lie within.
A clear-headed negotiation with yourself starts with recognising what you might be running from…
And whether that’s an internal pressure, or an external threat.
Confusing one for the other is a recipe for failure. Because when we don’t see things as they are, we can’t respond as we should.