The road is not the destination.
The destination is not the road.
Many paths may lead where we want to go.
Many more will take us someplace else.
There’s more to life than either working towards or attaining our desires.
These targets evolve over time. As we progress, horizons shift. Things change – and we do, too.
But the parameters of our pursuits are ultimately defined by the things we care about.
We do things and chase goals because they think they’ll give us what we want.
We strive to succeed at work, be praised and earn promotions because we want status. Or security. Or to feel like we’re not a failure.
We spend money on things we don’t need because we want to feel like we’ve arrived: as if we matter.
We scroll through social media feeds because we’re chasing novelty and stimulation to take the edge of our boredom. Or to distract us from dealing with things we’d rather not face.
Whatever we do, we do it because we think we’ll get what we want by doing it.
Everything is a means to an end.
But here’s the thing:
The paths we believe will lead us to the ends we seek seldom do.
It’s not because spending money is bad, or you should avoid recognition in the workplace, or social media is evil.
It’s because the thing we really want can’t be purchased. It can’t be given to us. It can’t be fed to us.
What we want most are the internal feelings we get from our pursuits.
Money, fame, a big house, a new car, a business, a movie, a viral piece of content – these things are inert. They have no inherent meaning. The only meaning the possess is the one we give them.
We believe that they’ll give us what we want. We see our desires reflected in them. And in attaining them – when they shift from out of reach to within our grasp – the picture distorts. Like standing too close to a mirror, it doesn’t look the same when we’re right on top of it.
So, our attention shifts to the next thing. Another reflection in another object. One that’s distant enough for us to forget the lessons our experience has delivered.
The trouble with wanting something isn’t that we might not reach it.
It’s that we’ll reach it, realise it’s not what we really wanted…
And set it down in pursuit of the next thing. Perpetually chasing something that can’t be gotten, because it’s nothing more than an illusion.