As we navigate through the world, we’re constantly coming into contact with new people, new situations, new stimuli, and new things to react to.
This is true, even when the things we’re dealing with aren’t brand-new.
Even when we think we’ve seen it all before, and there no need to burden ourselves by giving it a second thought – no two instances of a thing are the exact same.
We might gloss over the detail, ignore the differences – but the moment in front of us is unique in its makeup. Here now, never to be here again.
The first time we see something, we see it as it is. Because on first glance, everything is brand-new.
Without existing idea of how things should be, we’re free to take in every aspect of the experience and process it from an unblemished, unbiased viewpoint.
But the second time we see it, things are different.
Now we have expectations.
We’ve already been through this. One data point isn’t a massive sample size, sure. But we’ve seen this before. We have an idea how it should go, how we should feel, what we can reasonably expect…
And now, we’re no longer seeing things as they are.
We’re viewing everything through the lens of how we expect them to be.
Over time, we build up more and more stories about why things happened, what this moment means, and what’s likely to happen in the future.
Presented with an opportunity to experience something new, we seldom see it with fresh eyes.
Instead, we imagine we’ve been here before.
We think we know how it’s going to end before it’s even begun.
But when we accept these thoughts as infallible, we blind ourselves to reality:
This moment, like all that came before it & all that will come after, is unique.
Our ability to show up, be present and respond in the manner we see fit – not just as we’ve been conditioned to – is just as available to us now as it always was.
When we recognise that our expectations for the world are just stories we’ve written over time, we see the same holds true for the expectations we place on ourselves.
Fundamentally, that’s what this realisation gives us:
The ability to to come as we could be. Not just as we are, and now just as we have been.
Ideas are only as useful as the fruits they produce.
For as long as our beliefs serve us & support us in navigating the world well, they’re worth using.
But when we find ourselves confined by our edges (rather than just defined by them), it might be time to re-examine them.
Far from a denial of reality, coming as you could be is a choice to recognise your potential for change & a willingness to see things clearly.
With those two assets in hand, the journey becomes much easier.