Opinions. Preferences. Desires. Recommendations. Shoulds.
Whatever we call them, we’ve all got a headful of them.
These aren’t rules enforced by a higher authority. Whatever consequences are created by abiding by them or shunning them are socially rooted. Placed by one person on another because of a differing worldview.
We could argue that this applies to all laws, no matter how obvious they seem. Because ultimately, the systems we take for granted exist because of collective agreement and continuous enforcement – not because they’re naturally occuring phenomena.
(For most people, there’s a spectrum of reasonability here. Few people argue for a free-for-all. There are reasonable limits that the majority operate within.)
So, if we set aside matters of legality, we’re left with matters of choice.
We’re not going to get thrown in jail for holding certain opinions – or for feeling something different.
But just because something lacks legal consequences doesn’t mean that it’s risk-free.
Belief can be as divisive as black-and-white criminal behaviour. Or even more repellent, depending on the beliefs in question.
We may not feel as if this applies to us.
We may not think anything we hold to be true is troublesome enough to warrant extreme social consequences.
Maybe not. But we’re hardly the best judge of this.
We take things personally because we make them personal.
Just as we do, so do others.
We’ve got the benefit of intimately knowing everything there is to know about our inner workings.
The journey that brought us to this point.
The sacrifices we’ve had to make along the way.
The direct, first-hand experiences that have led us to see the world the way we do.
Other people don’t have this context. They see the product, not the process…
And unfortunately, that’s all we can expect them to go on.
We don’t need to abandon the things we hold dear in an effort to fit into pre-approved roles served up on a silver platter.
Our beliefs shape our identity – who we are. And they’re something each person is responsible for selecting.
But for those beliefs, opinions, preferences that we don’t truly care about…
The ones that don’t shape our behaviour…
The ones that we’ve co-opted with considering whether they matter in the grand scheme…
What’s their value?
Simple:
They can serve as a signal.
By stating our position on a topic, we draw a line in the sand – people like us stand here, the others go over there.
This can create a connection with those on the same side of this arbitrary divide…
And predictably, it can lead to conflict with those on the opposite side of the line.
Before you commit, consider how important this battle is.
Unless it’s one worth fighting, your best course of action is probably to disengage and save your energy for the things that matter.